How to Be the Best Social Media Douche Bag Ever

Being a great social media douche bag is obviously something a lot of people are interested in becoming.  There are plenty of  social media experts, webinars, seminars, guides, blogs, Twitter tools and other sources of information out there that will teach you how to be the best, or biggest, social media douche bag you can be. Social media douche baggery has even become a business for some and the great thing is that some of these people don’t even need to know what they are talking about in order to get other people to fork over money to them. As far as this writer can tell, becoming a “social media expert” requires 1 of 3 things: the ability to create a Facebook account, the ability to create a Twitter account or the ability to create a social bookmarking account, like Digg or something. Then – POW! Another social media expert is born.

Here are some tips on becoming the best social media douche bag ever.

1. Keep all of your personal friends and family informed about every sale, offer and promotion your business is having. There is nothing people like more than being sold to. Especially from friends and family members.
2. Remember to post the exact same message multiple times a day to all of your social networks. This way you can keep your important information fresh in everyone s mind 24 hours a day.
3. Keep everyone you know informed about how you are doing when playing online video games and ask them to join you. As a matter of fact, please send me all your email addresses so that I can let you all know every time I kick the crap out of my kids while playing Wii Resort because I know you all really care about that.
4. Pay for a system that will get you tens of thousands of more followers on Twitter. There is nothing better than an automated system to get you tens of thousands of more people that have no interest in what you have to say to spam to.
5. SELL, SELL, SELL! All anyone really cares about is what you are selling so ask for the sale in every update,  tweet, message or post. Remember to never offer any valuable information because that would take away the focus from you.
6. Hire someone else and have them pretend to be you. Nobody knows you better than someone else. This is  especially true when it comes to your business. So hire yourself a social media expert to run everything for you. Most “social media experts” have social media douche baggery down to a science already.
7. Remember, spamming really does work. Look no further than the penis enlargement industry as proof.
8. One way communication is key. All that really matters is what you have to say so never respond to messages from people within your social media circle. Just make sure they get your message loud, clear and often.
9. Trick people into thinking your more popular by creating multiple fake user accounts. There is nothing better than tricking your online friends into thinking you are as cool as Ashton Kutcher by creating multiple user accounts and linking them all together for your own personal network of fake social media douche bags. Your online friends will ask themselves, “Who knew that so many other people were interested in making grout?”.
10. Keep all your business associates updated on what’s happening in your personal life throughout the day. Believe it or not, the people you do business with really do love hearing about how you just dropped the kids off at school, how smart they are, how you got over an infection, how your spouse has been and all the other fascinating details of your life.

Just remember that if you are going to use social media for your business it’s best to try to create a community around your services where you can not only educate people about what you do, but also communicate with them too. It’s not just a one-way street where all you do is post, post, post. You also have to be willing and able to interact with people.

In a nutshell, look at social media like an ad in the yellow pages (remember those). If all you did was place the ad and then never answer the phone the ad wouldn’t do you much good would it. After all, if all you’re going to do it put it out there and then never respond what’s the point of putting it out there in the first place. Posting your message all over your social networks and never interacting with the people who actually take the time to read your stuff is a waste of your time. If you are paying someone to do it for you then you are wasting your money too. Make sure you have someone, preferably an employee or yourself, responding to your friends, followers, fans or whatever in a timely manner. A third party (social media expert) may not have the ability to answer questions about your services as professionally as you could so why pay them to do it? You may need help planning and setting up a social media campaign. That’s okay, but running and monitoring it really needs to be done by you or someone within your organization to keep it genuine and real. It is networking after all.

20 Things To Know About Using Social Media For Your Business

These are the Twenty Things that everybody needs to know about Social Media and how they can use Social Media for their business. A lot of Hype has been created around this topic and we want own clients to understand what exactly it means to them.

(1) Don’t Believe the Hype

Our professional opinions are based on our expertise, experience and education. We are not here to repeat what others have to say. We are here to give you the facts not feed you fiction.

(2) It’s Not Cheap Advertising

It is wrong to believe that Social Media is nothing but a cheap channel to spam out a sales pitch. Social Networks are not a place for an infomercial or “Guerrilla Marketing”. Social Networks are not “the new” late night television, they are a new way to communicate with people.

(3) It’s Not Just Numbers

Social Media is not about building large numbers or friends, fans or followers that do not know who you are or do not care about what you have to say. Sending out information to large numbers of people that do not care what you have to say is spam. If you annoy them enough they may even look to see who is spamming them. This is not the way to build traffic to your website, because the only thing that they will remember is to buy elsewhere.

(4) It’s Not Just About You

If you make it just about you, only you are going to want to hear it. It’s easy to spot someone that doesn’t say anything with out posting a link to their website or starts every message with “My new Blog Post”. Words “I” or “Me” from your Social Media vocabulary or else you will create a personal brand that nobody will ever want to buy.

(5) You’re Not a Movie Star

How celebrities and major corporations are using Social Media has very little to do with what is going to work for you. Do not make the mistake of comparing yourself to a super model,  celebrity or professional athlete.  Social Media has nothing to do with who they are or why people are interested in them.

(6) Have Realistic Objectives

You need to know what your objectives are before you even think of starting a Social Media Marketing Campaign and if you are going to be able to realize those objectives for the type of business that you are in.

(7) Develop A Game Plan

An effective Game Plan will create the buzz for your business. Social Media gives you the ability to keep in touch with your loyal customers and to reach out to new ones around the world.

(8) Know Your Marketplace

You need to know your marketplace and why your customers buy from you. The Internet is a global marketplace and people can buy from you from all over the world.

(9) Give It Time

You need to remember that Social Media Marketing is a long term strategy, not a way to become an “Internet Millionaire” overnight.

(10) Treat People As Friends

Talk to people like they are your friends. Abrasive tone, SHOUTING, and pushy sales pitches are not what your friends want to hear. You are not writing copy for an infomercial.

(11) Build A Community

Use your Social Network to build a community around your business and reward your customers for their loyal patronage. Building a community online is how you bring people into your business, because they want to bring their business to you.

(12) Understand the “Vibe”

Every Social Network has a different Vibe and that vibe is created by the people that use the network, not the people that operate the network. For example automatically posting messages from another network is considered to be an acceptable practice on Twitter, but would be considered spamming somewhere else.

(13) Do Something Interesting

Always offer something that people are going to want or else they are not going to be part of your online business community. When you give people the opportunity to do something fun, they are going to bring your business into their circle of friends.

(14) You Must Participate

Internet Communities are about people and you are going to have to be there to carry on a two way conversation or people are just going to blow you off. One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they join as many networks as they can find and never become a part of the community. “Auto-blogging” services like Ping.fm can give people the idea that spamming out a sales pitch to as many social networks is going to build traffic to their website. What they don’t realize is that traffic is not converting to actual sales. because people are just looking at their site in contempt.

(15) Encourage Cooperation

People will remember that you helped them and they will come back when they need your services. When you let people ask questions and answer them promptly they will know that someone is listing to what they say. Community pages should always include postings from fans to encourage cooperation between the people in you community.

(16) Build Relationships

Social Networks allow you to meet people around the world and in time you will be able to make friends them. These friendships may also lead to trust based relationships in business with people that you would not have to opportunity to meet otherwise. People that are experienced in business networking understand how this works on the local level, when they join Chambers of Commerce and other networking organizations.

(17) Think Business

Don’t say things that are going to offend the people that paying you money or challenge their political views or religious beliefs. One of things that makes America great is that people have the right to have different views on everything. It’s not your business to try to change what people believe and the only thing you are going to make them believe is they need to do business else where.

(18) Protect Your Reputation

Reputation is the key component in Social Media, the way you deliver your message and the frequency that you deliver it is going to directly impact your reputation.

(19) Never SPAM Your Friends

Friends don’t what to read spam or care about the latest trends in Social Media. Computer programs that send messages over the Internet that nobody wants are spamming. There are places on Social Networks to advertise and build lists of people that want to know about your business. For example, when people join a page on FaceBook they know that they are going to receive messages from the people that run the page.

(20) You’re Not Fooling Anyone

Just be yourself and treat people like your friends and everyone is going to like you. Pretending to offer sage advice only to lure people into some get rich quick website is going to get you nowhere fast. An excellent example is the “Thank Your For Following Me” message on Twitter, that is always generated by a computer program. A tool that will only build traffic to your website from contemptible people or people with contempt for you.

Using Video To Promote Your Business Online

“What would it take to add video to my web site?”,  is a question I am often asked. This question is usually followed by, “…and what would it cost?”.

Whenever I am asked how much a video will cost I think back to my first job at a video production studio. Ah, back in the days of flat top fades and New Jack Swing. Back then I remember the boss drilling the sales reps with the same mantra over and over, “If they ask you how much it will cost, then they can’t afford it.” Then he would always follow with, “We’re not about saving them money, we’re about doing the job right and making them money.” This is something I try to impress on anyone who is serious about adding video to their marketing tools. Video really only has two options, the cheap way and the right way. If you think this blog is going to teach you how to get a professional video done on a tight budget then don’t waste your time reading any further. I’m going to cover PROFESSIONAL video marketing solutions. If want to do it on the “cheap” then hire your brother-in-law that fancies himself as a video expert because he shot a couple weddings and birthday parties. That way, if your intent on just pissing your money away, at the very least, you’ll be helping out a member of your family.

The issue is that most small business clients (now that I think about it, large ones too) don’t really have a clue as to what goes into video production, the cost involved or even how they would use a video for promotion in the first place. Most just think that it would be cool to have one because, well… there just cool. 5-7  years ago most small business owners wouldn’t even consider video because of the production costs as well as the type of financial commitment a TV campaign would run them. Well, software advancements and the Internet have brought video production into the realm of reality for many small businesses. Or they think it has.

Now video production has come down in price a whole bunch the last few years. The Internet has made video delivery extremely cost effective but the fact is, as a business owner, you need to be educated as to what is available and effective for your business and image. An awesome video is still no good if no one sees it or remembers what the video is promoting. Video is still one of the most, if not the most, effective forms of advertising available to any business today. And with viral marketing techniques you can get more millage out of posting a video online than you could just by running ads on local TV.

I’m not going to cover how much you should be paying for custom professional video production because prices vary depending on where you are. For the same quality of video, a company in New York, NY may charge $40,000 where as a company in Cocoa Beach, FL may charge $10,000 for the exact same thing. I will, however, give you this advice on how to save a little money. If you are in a large city sometimes it may be more cost effective to bring a video crew in from a smaller area. I’ve seen rates fluctuate from $350 per hour to $75 per hour for the exact same service with the exact same equipment run by a producer with the exact same experience. Do your homework, hire a consultant or hire an independent executive producer that’s not affiliated with any production house to handle bidding out the project on your behalf. The cost of bringing in an outside crew, consultant or producer can almost always be offset by how much they can save you in production cost. Remember, these people know a whole hell of a lot more than you do when it comes to producing a video and where money can be saved without ruining the quality.

What I am going to cover is some of the more popular uses of video for business. Some are more effective than others and some are very popular but not really as effective.

The Video Walk On

One of the more popular (at least from all the people I run into selling this service at networking events) uses of video is the Video Walk On. These can be produced for as little as $300 and involve a spokesperson (sometimes professional other times not so much) walking out onto your web site and greeting visitors. They sometimes mention your promotions or specials and usually ask for some type of call to action: Call now, Click this link for more info,  and so on. Many also have some sort of monthly fee for using the service that can run anywhere from $35 a month and up.

The lower cost ones usually involve a template where your business name, contact info and call to action are plugged into a pre-written script. Now these scripts are usually very generic so that they can be used over and over for multiple businesses.  That’s how the production companies keep the cost down. You will usually not have very much say in the format but some companies will customize the video for you at additional cost. The thing to look out for is that the additional cost may be a whole lot more than the advertised price which made you consider this option in the first place.

The more expensive ones usually use scripts that are custom written for your business. They will normally have someone work with you to come up with an effective message. They also usually have more professional spokespeople as well as a larger selection of them. The cost for the higher end Video Walk Ons usually run $1500 and up give or take depending on the part of the country you’re in.

Are Video Walk Ons actually effective? Will they increase sales or leads? Will they increase traffic to your site? Will your search engine ranking go up? I’ll start by answering the last two questions first. No and no. If a sales rep tells you anything other, then they have no clue as to how the Internet works. From a technical standpoint, adding a Video Walk On to your web site will not increase search engine ranking or traffic. Most video nowadays is delivered online using Flash and Flash is not recognized by the algorithms that the search engines use. No matter how cool it looks. Now you may be wondering why in the hell then can you search for a video online and find it or how do YouTube, Google Video, Yahoo Video, AOL Video, Vimeo and all the videos from those types of sites come up in search results. It’s simple, they are using a totally different kind of video delivery system than a Video Walk On does. Will they at least increase sales or leads? The answer is a resounding maybe. It really depends on the type of business you have as well as the product or service you are offering. Why do it then you may ask yourself? It’s all about image baby. If you want to add something to your web site that “pops” then a Video Walk On may be for you. If you want to differentiate yourself from the competition then this might a tool that can help you do so.  Don’t kid yourself thinking that adding this type of thing will drastically increase sales or your bottom line, it’s more for image. But, sometimes, a memorable image may be just what you need to separate yourself from all the other glut on the Internet.

The Template Video

Another low cost marketing tool is the Template Video. This is similar to the Video Walk On in that the script is a template where your companies unique info is plugged into an existing video shell. The difference is that these usually involve a voice over person as opposed to a spokesperson that appears on camera. These type of videos typically use stock video footage and have sections where your logo and message can be easily entered in by the production company. These retail anywhere from $250 and up to produce and usually have a monthly fee attached. The major issue with these types of videos is the fact that they are a template. Your message may not get across exactly as you intend it to but that’s why they are inexpensive. You’re not paying for a solid marketing piece, your paying for a cheap video. The benefit to having this kind of video made is that it’s cheap and at least you’ll have something  to post on YouTube and all the other video distribution sites as well as on your own web site. You can also post it to your blog and if it’s fits into the size constraints your Facebook page as well. You can get a lot of mileage out of one of these as long as your agreement with the production company allows you  to do so. Be careful though! When getting one of these Template Videos you need to make sure that you have complete control over where it can be posted. Some companies will charge you a “distribution fee” if you post it anywhere other than your web site.

Viral Video Campaigns

Viral Videos could also be called Stupid S#!t That People Post Online That Other People Get a Kick Out Of For Some Unknown Reason.

Star Wars Kid, Numa Numa, Dick in a Box and the celebrity filled I’m F*@ing Ben Afflek are just a few examples of successful Viral Videos. These are videos that became extremely popular by people sharing them with each other. Many companies hear of the success of these types of videos and try to replicate that success for themselves. They figure that if some dork with a web cam can get a million views acting like a retard then with all their marketing might they can to. The challenge is producing a video that is not only entertaining enough to stand out from all the dumb crap and make people want to share it but to also produce one that actually promotes your company or brand effectively. Oh, and does it within your companies image guidelines. That’s where most corporate image types show their ignorance regarding the Internet and what kind of videos people actually LIKE to watch and share.

Viral Videos for business need to be entertaining. Your video will competing for face time with dorks, losers, sluts, farting, testicle shots, monkeys, sociopaths and a few individuals with a little talent who all probably know more about what people want to watch and share online than you and your marketing co-horts combined. If you want to keep your video professional, corporate and bland then advertise on TV or on the video sign at your local mall. If you want people to share it with the world, talk about it and have it seen by a large audience then make it funny, sexy or extremely weird.  Check out some examples of successful corporate Viral Videos. Here’s one for Guinness Beer and one for the launch of the PS3. Note – the PS3 spot debuted on TV with an extremely limited run but gained a following online when people started searching  for “the weird Play Station baby commercial”. Consumers actually went out of their way looking for the ad. That’s marketing.

Now producing a successful Viral Video campaign can be a little more challenging than you may think and obviously I won’t be covering ever aspect in this article. Most business owners I have spoken with seem to think that throwing something together and posting it on YouTube is all they need to do and it’s a little more involved than that. For starters, you need to plan the campaign out. If you have the budget, produce more than one spot. The reason why is that if you put all your eggs into one basket and it doesn’t catch on then your money could be wasted. Produce a series of spots and post them over a period of time.You also want to submit your video to more than just YouTube. Believe it or not, YouTube isn’t the be all and end all of sharing video on the Internet. There are also Google Video, Yahoo Video, AOL Video, Vimeo and a whole slew of others. Sign up with as many as you can handle and submit to all of them or pay someone to do it for you. Post your video on your blog, web site and social networking sites. Your goal is to get it seen by as many people as possible so that, hopefully, it will catch on and be shared with the world. Like I stated before, the challenge for a business owner is the fact that your video will be competing for attention with lightsaber guys, strange pets, dudes getting hit in the nuts, half naked women, weird looking babies, MILFs, Club Penguin videos, Justin Timberlake, SNL shorts, drunk people, monkeys being monkeys and other viral marketing campaigns with serious scratch and talent behind them. You need to understand the world your delving into when it comes to Viral Video Marketing. It’s not the same as advertising on TV. Not by a long shot.

Video Podcasting

Video Podcasting is similar to Blogging  in that it’s something you’ll need to do on a regular basis in order for it to be effective. What is it? Basically, it’s producing a series of short videos in which you enlighten the world with your knowledge or observations on whatever subject floats your boat (preferably, expertise in your profession). Now this honestly doesn’t translate well to every single business out there, but for the ones it does, Video Podcasting can be a powerful promotional tool. People get to see you, hear you and become comfortable with you without ever having met you. You can show off the expertise in your field and start branding yourself as an expert whether you really are or not. You tell people your an expert enough times they’ll start buying it.

Now, don’t worry. If you decide to  give Video Podcasting a try but are worried about scheduling time every week to tape and edit your segments I’ll give you an industry hint. Film them all in one day, get them all edited and then release them on a regular basis. I usually suggest filming 13 at a time. That way you have enough for one a week for a quarter of the year. 6-7 weeks into your campaign tape your next 13 and so on. Consistency is key to gaining viewers.

You can then upload your Video Pod Casts to all the previously mentioned video sites, social networks and your blogs but you’ll also want to submit it to Podcasting sites like iTunes, videopodcasts.tv, video.podcast.com, podcastalley.com and tons of others. The more places you post it, the better chance of people seeing it and subscribing.

What About a Normal Old Fashioned Marketing Video?

Let me start out by saying that putting a normal, old fashioned marketing video only on your web site  is a horrendous waste of the Internet’s capability. But if you’re too lazy to post it everywhere or too cheap to pay someone to do it for you here’s what you should do to get the most out of it. At the very least, add a social networking widget like Add This to the page the video is on so that the 6 people who actually see it can share it with others. I’d also make sure that you include video taped testimonials. Video testimonials are powerful marketing tools that really should be included in any video campaign. And don’t just rehash the information that already on your web site. It’s video for goodness sake. Take advantage of it’s capabilities. Video is one of most powerful marketing tools around so use it to it’s fullest extent.

Like I stated before, video has come down a ton in cost the last  few years but it is still a higher end marketing solution. Make sure to plan properly and give the production company enough time, and enough of a budget, to come with something that shows your company in the best light possible. Video can make your company look bigger and better than it is but it can also make you look like a cheap douche bag.  The end product will be a result of your choices so choose wisely.

Jayme Ward is the owner of Digi Donkey, an Internet Consulting Firm located in Historic Cocoa Village, Florida.

Does Size Matter In Social Networks Or Is It How You Use It

When using social networks for business is it good to have tens of thousands of friends on Facebook? Should you be following as many people as possible on Twitter? Do you need to connect with every single person you meet on Linked In?

When I went to college there was a guy I knew named Christian who attended the larger University in the city. Now he had a simple goal while in school. To get as much tail as possible. He was a simple guy. He didn’t want to be bothered with dating, buying girls meals or being the douche bag that buys a woman drinks all night to only see her go home with someone else. By his calculations there were roughly 15,000 – 20,000 women on campus. Every year the campus would lose and gain roughly another 2,000 – 2,500. He figured that if he just cut to the chase and asked every woman he met to sleep with him right then and there (whether he thought they were attractive or not) he would make out alright during his four years in school just based on the numbers alone. It would take some balls, but he was up to the task.

Most, if not all, of the aps out there being used for social networking have the ability to add friends, colleagues, followers, Plurkers or whatever. The philosophy most marketers use is the same old as dirt, tried and true Marketing 101 tactic of expose your brand to as many people as possible in order to get the filter down effect for your business. Connect with as many people as possible (which is extremely easy through social networking) and the numbers alone will generate some interest in whatever it is your selling or promoting. That’s why Super Bowl ads cost so much. The commercials are seen by so many people at one time the expense is worth the cost. Well, many business owners and self proclaimed social networking experts use a similar module of if you friend all of them, some will eventually buy.

Christian wasn’t best looking guy in the world but he was in reasonably good shape, funny and personable. His plan finally paid off for him about four months and 100 rejections in. He hooked up with a pretty college sophomore that had just been dumped by a guy she had been dating since she was a freshman in high school. When asked if it was worth all the hassle and embarrassment of the previous months his response was, “Hell yeah!”

The model of exposing your product, business or brand to as many people as possible has been around for as long as there has been marketing and the reason is because it does work. It works in print, tv, radio, direct mail and even online. But realize this, social networking is a new and different medium than we have ever been exposed to before. The dynamics are different than that of the marketing resources we have been dealing with for the last hundred years or so. Naturally, the first instinct of most marketing experts is to do what has worked for them on previous successful campaigns and apply it to this new medium. But this old way of thinking may not be in your company’s best interest.

Toward the end of my first year in school watching Christian hit on every woman he came across on weekends became quite a show for everyone that knew him. He was relentless. He truly didn’t give a damn what the women thought of him. If they said, “No” he’d just move on to the next one. It was akin to a small child asking everyone at a family gathering for a cookie before dinner until someone finally breaks down and gives them one. By the end of the year, from what I remember, he ended up hooking up with 3 or 4 different women using this tactic. After all the time and money he spent in bars (the place he found women would be more likely to accept this blunt type of offer) he felt it was worth all the rejections and considered his first year of chasing tail in college a success.

The point of social networking for business is exactly the same as real life business networking. It’s to meet people, get to know them and have them open up their contacts to you. In real life networking this process can take some time getting the trust built up before they start referring you business. In social networking online many times a person’s entire list of contacts is open to you the second they “friend” or connect with you. This really accelerates the process. You can instantly start corresponding with their contacts adding more and more “friends” at an extremely fast rate but is this really such a smart thing to do?

Midway through year 2 Christian’s tactics started backfiring on him. He began hitting on girls he had already hit on before. Sometimes this was due to the fact that he was drunk off his a$$ but most of the time it was because he had hit on so many the year before he flat out didn’t remember them. Then some of the girls started warning their friends about the creepy guy that hits on everyone. Some of ones that actually got with him also started telling their friends to stay away from him because he was a jerk and he started to get a bad reputation around campus. By the end of the second year he abandoned his plan because it wasn’t working anymore. Too many of the women he met already had a preconceived notion that he was just a player or that he was just a flat out jerk.

Social networking works both ways. You get to see all the contacts that every you know knows and they also get to see everyone you know. Savvy business people can tell when someone is really using the social networks to meet people and when they are just collecting contacts. Can you really correspond with 10,000 different people on a regular basis? How about 1,000? What about 100? Do you have the time in your schedule to follow up with hundreds of emails a week? You may counter with, “Some of those may be real people trying to business with me and if I didn’t have all the contacts then that person wouldn’t have contacted me in the first place” and you would be right. But what if you never opened the email because of the fact that the bulk of your “friends” send you so must spam and junk mail that you can’t keep up with everything. Or maybe, because you’ve received so many messages with pictures of Britney Spears’ gooch from all your “friends” through one particular social network that you don’t even bother to login to that one anymore. If it becomes too big to manage then you may miss more than you get and what happens to a business that doesn’t get back to potential clients? Those unsatisfied potential clients tell their friends. Remember, people are more likely to bitch about bad service to their friends than praise good service so be careful. With social networking this message can get out to many, many people very quickly.

Year 3 is when Christian’s tactics from his freshman year really came back to bite him in the a$$. He met a freshman named Kat that he had become smitten with. They started hanging out a lot and the time came when Christian wanted to get serious (in a dating, not sex way). Now while he was courting her she was also hearing the stories from other women around campus. She eventually told him that, even though he seemed like a nice guy, she couldn’t get serious with someone with his reputation and dumped him.

Many of the social networks have games where you earn points, or karma, or prestige for connecting with as many people as possible. They will also reward you for joining groups or getting others to sign up.  This is in their best interest, not yours. Connect with people that will help you achieve your business goals. It’s better to have a smaller, controllable network than to have something that gets out of control where you can’t follow up with people that may want, or need your services.

One of the most written about success stories on social networking is President Obama’s social networking campaign he ran during the election. He had hundreds of thousands of people following his every move. He got his message out to millions of people online. But there is one other thing… He also had an entire staff of people running it for him. Social networking is about connecting with lots of people but you have to be able to manage it. So make sure you don’t just become a contact collector. Make sure you can actually correspond with your network.

Your business isn’t a game so don’t treat it like one.

Jayme Ward is the owner of Digi Donkey, an Internet Consulting firm located in Historic Cocoa Village, Florida.

Are You Twitting or Spamming?

Spamming Sucks And So Do the Spammers That Spam

Right now social networking sites like Facebook and tools like Twitter are in their infancy. It’s like the Internet back in the days of midi music, animated fire and dancing hamsters. No ads, no spam and the only thing you had to pay for was porn.

Then something happened. An presence started making it’s way into people’s favorite websites. “Your computer is too slow click here to fix it.” And you’d click it (back in the day we didn’t know any better) only to end up on a page trying to sell you some crap.

Then came the free browsers with all the ads loaded right into your start up page. How nice was that? Waiting 2 minutes for your pages to load because of all the ads was great wasn’t it.

Then the spammers discovered email and, well we all know how that turned out.

Now they have a new tool at their pudgy Cheeto-powdered finger tips. Social Networks.

The problem is that the spammers aren’t the normal ones holed up in rooms full of servers with dynamic ip addresses staying one step ahead of the Internet police. No, these new spammers are advertising agencies, marketing managers, Internet consultants, sales people, web designers and the “so called”  Social Networking Experts who don’t get what social networking is all about.

Loss of Innocence

Look at the social networks like an innocent girl from the Midwest rolling into college at a major university for the first time. New to the scene, innocent and looking to make a good impression in her new environment.  She goes out to some parties with her new group of friends and some of the guys start getting a little grab assy with her. Now she doesn’t want to be a downer so she let’s the guy cop a little feel here and there as long as it isn’t too blatant and obvious. Next semester she’s doing body shots of her roommate’s stomach. The following semester she swapping spit with dudes in the bathroom between fits of vomiting in the toilet. She goes from being a nice girl, to popular life of the party girl to used up skank and no fun anymore.

Well people, that’s what the Social Networks may very well become. Scan the Internet for all the articles, blogs and websites dedicated to teaching businesses how to use Social Networking to increase their bottom lines. Enjoy them while their still innocent because the social networking spam has already started to flow.

Add 3-4 Inches to Your Penis Now

If you are using Social Networking to build contacts for your business that’s fine. Just use the tool in a way that won’t piss people off.  Social Networking is about meeting people and exchanging ideas and crap. It’s not about getting them to sign up for your Multi Level Marketing scheme. It’s not about explaining to people how your company can get them a lower mortgage. It’s not about adding 3-4 inches to their penis. People don’t want to be sold to when they are having fun and right now the Social Networks are for fun. If you want to relentlessly plug your business then sign up for a Social Neworking site designed for that like LinkedIn. Stay out of the “social” Social Networking sites unless you learn how to do it without selling every third post.

If you must use Social Networks to grow your list of contacts then take a more social slant when doing it. No one wants to buy your crappy penis enlargement pills when discussing the artistic merits and plausibility of “The Dark Knight” and “Iron Man”. Join the conversation, lay back then join another one that interests you and so on. Go ahead and put your website in your profile. Mention that you sell penis pills in your profile too. Do you happen to write a blog full of  big penis stories? Great, mention it every time you update your blog but don’t sell your penis pills in your posts.

That’s it. Let people find out what you do on there terms. More and more Social Spamming is taking place and the Social Networks will eventually start dealing with it. They want to become used up and be turned ad depositories, or suppositories, depending on how you look at it.

I implore every “so called” Social Networking specialist out there to teach responsible social networking techniques and don’t just turn all your clients into Social Spammers. If businesses are shown how to do it right then everything that makes social networking cool right now will be sucked out and used up before too long.